Primula challenge

Just recently my thoughts have turned to (that most natural of products), Primula. (I'm not quite sure this is, maybe I had some subtle encouragement from somewhere).

Anyway, the idea of a Primula based challenge has stuck. It was suggested that maybe a 100m Primula sprint might be feasible i.e. how fast can a person eat 100m worth of Primula (this would probably require the use of some sort of mechanical distribution device in order to ensure a smooth supply of the squeezy cheese to the challenger.

With my interest piqued by this thought, I had to give it some further investigation.

It would seem that laying a 1m trail of Primula is quite difficult. ensuring an even level of pressure is used to get a uniform cheese stripe is more taxing than you'd think. Also Primula is more elastic than I think anyone would ever give it credit for.

It turns out that 1m of Primula weighs 48g, so eating 100m would mean eating 4.8kg, which is equivalent to 34 tubes. At a cost of £40.12!

So maybe the 100m Primula sprint is out.

There must, however, be some way of combining sporting prowess and Primula. Maybe the 1m Primula lick dash? How fast can the contestant lick up 1m of Primula? Maybe an event could include edible hurdles over which the Primula is laid and they must be eaten along with the Primula.

Any thoughts on what could be included? Surely Primula based sports have been missing for far too long, haven't they?